A new relationship is always an exciting thing. Each person is discovering the other and everything is brighter and the air smells sweeter and the birds are chirping and so on. The couple is happy. It is not unusual for the happy couple to want to spend time with each other. Actually that is a splendid idea. There is absolutely nothing wrong with two people in a relationship. The problem is how do many Christians actually move from the single stage to the mating stage?
Relationships for Christians can be a tricky venture. Churches are notoriously lacking in the potential for mates and all the other options are not conducive for a religious pairing. I have no clue what it’s like to try to pick up someone (or be picked up) at a club or bar because those are not and have never been my venues of choice. Internet dating is definitely not my things as I have mentioned in previous posts. So what’s a single Christian to do in order to get back into the dating scene?
One viable answer is to become active in your life. No I don’t mean more active in the safety of your church but outside. You know - out there in the big world. Most of us are so used to a routine of going to work, going to family, friends and church. We have eliminated the rest of the world and the activities that have the potential of opening more mate options. I realize that some Christians will advocate for praying and the Lord will provide. However, there is also the idea that God will not bring a man or woman to your doorsteps (at least for most of us). The wonderful thing about getting back into the mating scene is that you have the opportunity to discover more about your interests and finding something new. Getting out into the world gives you more to share with a potential mate than being locked away at home.
Most people are also very afraid of doing things by themselves. I guess it is the fear of looking stupid or pathetic. Well looking like a pathetic single or stupid had never killed anyone. Doing things by yourself can seem daunting but it takes practice. If that is just not for you, then joining a small activities group. The internet has information for various groups such as Meetup.com or joining travelling groups or some kind of group that pushes you outside your comfort zone. Even if you do not meet someone, it’s still an adventure. For me, one of my adventures over the years was doing a Mexican Riviera cruise with one such activity group. No I did not meet anyone but I do have the pictures to prove that I had fun and definitely discovered new things that I would love to engage in again. The funny thing is that I had never really wanted to visit Mexico or go on a ship but I figured that ‘why not.’ I had absolutely no reason to not do it. It was also on that trip where my indoor rock climbing (which I got into from another social group activity) came in very handy in the real world :-). Good times.
I have noticed that my comfort zone is my worst enemy at times. I have my moments when I do step out and do a lot of new things and there are other times I stay in and have no interest otherwise. I don’t think that being single is the bad luck of the draw but in order to change that status we have to work towards that as a goal – not just a mate finding single-minded goal but living while looking goal.