In the last month or so, I had the pleasure of observing two professed Christians/church goers. It was not an intentional surveillance but nevertheless I could not help but reflect on something my mother said to me. Due to my lengthy absence from church, she always says that I should not look at the people because we go to church to serve God.
When I am in a good mood, I totally understand that concept. However, when I am in an anti-christianity mood, then my first thoughts are that this is complete b.s. because in church you are surrounded and have to interact with these people (good, bad or in between). Anyways, one Christian had such a strong verbal expression of her faith that I could not help but think she probably put people off. I also could not help but note that she has set herself up for a fall because of a legalistic view of Christianity. The ironic thing is her house is in a bit of a mess. The other christian has fallen back to smoking. He shows a conniving contempt for his boss and he has a loose tongue to quickly share ie. gossip about others.
I can’t help but find the humor with these two people. My mother is right. We are all humans who are very fallible (some more so than others) and if we stare too long at the professed Christians, we will lose sight of the purpose of Christianity. I am certainly not in a place to judge anyone (now or ever) because I am one of the ‘more so fallibles.’ It’s actually quite refreshing to admit to being a terrible sinner with one foot in to hell :-)
Don’t get me wrong! I am not reveling in my current fallen status. I am just aware and admitting that there is nothing perfect about me. Actually everything is imperfect. It is funny how as professed christians we tend to deny our ‘evil’ side and extensively promote the ‘holier than thou’ status. I am slowly starting accept that professed Christians are not as perfect as they portray. I am not as disappointment or surprised when one of the flock behaves badly. I do wonder if they have admitted to themselves that they are in denial about their minor sins/almost perfect status.
I still am not sure how much closer I am to getting myself back to church. The calling has not hit yet but on rare occasions a fleeting thought crosses my mind. Despite my withdrawal, prayer continues to be a daily part of my life – a habit I just can’t give up.