I had taken a hiatus from blogging because there seem to be nothing of great interest in the religious world to blog about at this time. When it comes to religion, there are so few things to discuss before I start repeating yourself. I am not back with a renewed vigor but with a struggle of the bible and believing kind.
Here is my religious struggle. I have stopped attending church on a regular basis because I just don’t want to be there and I am having some serious questions about the bible. I do visit a church on occasion (when I visit my church-going parents) and I do acknowledge that some of the messages are pretty good. However, I am becoming an unbeliever in the word-for-word bible. I do unwaveringly believe that a God exists and he created the things we see but the details which are laid out by the Christian bible (any religion as a matter of fact) seems a bit fuzzy.
I have realized that faith in one’s religion takes a lot of gusto, trusting, and naivety. It’s like that passage in which Jesus states that you have to be like a child to enter into the kingdom of heaven. He was right. Children believe a lot of things without question. It is only when we question that we (I) start scratching my head thinking W-H-A-T??? Interestingly, the same bible encourages the believers to test and see ‘if it is true.’ Unfortunately, my testing has led to more questions that no one seems to be able to answer.
I recognize that this could be a phase (a very long phase) but I have no intention of denying my ambiguity about the bible and religion. I am not ready to toss out the bible and neither am I willing to venture to the dark side of atheism. Something just seems ‘rotten in Denmark’ but the alternative to walk away does not seem right either. What to do? What to do?
With all that being said, the true face of Christianity is quite majestic: The caring for others; The willingness to call a stranger brother or sister; The sense that there is so much more to life than what the eye can see. Ironically, I have not given up prayer. It is quite a comforting practise-afterall, I do believe in the existence of a God who can see and hear. The essence or the ‘spirit’ of religion is hard to resist in such a f-up world. It’s almost like a peace in the midst of chaos. I guess that’s the part I find very difficult to give up despite my questioning.