The Prayer of Comfort

In the recent week, there had been two mass casualty events –  the Boston bombing and the fertilizer plant explosion in Texas. Most Christians will point to these things as the ‘sign of the times’ or ‘Jesus is near.’ Other radicals will point to this as America’s punishment for sins. People will use tragedy to further their cause – pro/against guns, closing the borders, hate another religion, blame the government etc. However, the average Christian, who have picked up a bible at some point in their lives will understand the power of prayer.

Despite my sabbatical from direct religious involvement, I do understand the power of prayer. Prayer not for the lost or that the world will become suddenly peaceful but prayer for strength to continue despite all the madness. I realize that whether someone blames God or praises God the truth is we have no power to change or stop things from happening. The only power we possess is the ability to gather our strength and whatever faith you have and move forward.

It’s interesting that people in other countries live with similar tragedies on a regular basis-which is sad when you think of it. For us, who have a somewhat peaceful enough existence, such craziness is very hard to fathom. In moments like these, it is easy to lose oneself in despair but for the Christians who believe in something more, then there is at least a slight glimmer of hope for some inner peace because of our beliefs.

No matter what the level of one’s faith or church attendance, prayer is a free and open line to God. It is usually the easiest tool to use in a Christian’s arsenal to bolster us when the world becomes more crazy than usual. We have the ability to pray for the families affected by both tragedies and the tool to pray that a whole city come together to help each other. Despite the US fight against public declaration of Christianity, one of the first things that people tend to do is pray and call on the local religious leader for spiritual strength. I guess it would be fair to say that the US has become closet Christians who are only allowed out in public after tragedies. Whatever the status, it is good to see that active or dormant Christians have not forgotten the power of prayer.

 

 

 

If Your Mate Offends You, Then

 copied image

The Christians who are familiar with their bible should see the direction in which I am heading with this post titled ”If your mate offends you, then.” This is a variation on the theme of Matt. 18: 8-9 in which Jesus made statements that if something offends you then  cut it (him/her) loose. Harder said than done isn’t it?

I was having a discussion with a male coworker who made the statement that he does not understand why bad men always get together with good women and treat them badly. I promptly responded that men are allowed to behave badly because the women practice the 70 x 7 forgiveness concept. This is when a woman of good character continues to forgive and accept a mate with bad behaviors. The results of this 70 x 7 forgiveness concept are the bad behaviors continue and the offending partner never learns consequences due to ”sparing the rod and spoiling the child.”

Disclaimer: This is not a male bashing post. The bad behaviors are practiced by both men and women; however, men seem to be the offending partner most of the time while the women are more accepting of bad behaviors.

The male coworker was also speaking from experience. He too had been one of those men and it took years before he finally realized the error of his ways. Even though he had been married for over 20 something years to his now deceased wife, he had given her hell for most of those years. A lesson to be learned is that a large number of marriages are never always pretty from the inside!

Men/women who behave badly did not just wake up one day and became relationship terrorists. They displayed these behaviors right after the first few ‘get to know you’ dates were over. So, if a woman sees these things early in the relationship, then why does she continue to choose the bumpy, crying, upset, angry road? Is being single such a death sentence? Is it better to be coupled with trouble than to be single?

Being in a bad relationship is like playing the slots machine (do they still call them slots?). The person with character can rely on intermittent winnings and she continues to hold on to hope that every play will win her the jackpot for life. However, the issue with gambling is, the players will always lose more over time in comparison to what they have ‘won.’

Women are so accepting of the ‘hanging in there’ idea to the point in which their spirits are damaged in the process. For some, it is damaged beyond repair and for others it takes lots of mending. So why not cut loose the offending party? Why torture yourself with someone whom you know perpetually and intentionally offends you? Well, like the parable of the offending hand and eye, the offenders serve a purpose. The offending party serves as a self-esteem booster because you are not single like those other pathetic people; the offending party provides a sense of comfort in which occasionally the person can be reliable; the offending party gives the sense that you are not completely alone in life; and the offending party is the evil that you know.

The good character women/men are NOT  victims. They are willing participants in this heartbreaking cycle. They still have enough strength to be able to handle the crap that is thrown at them. Their spirits are not defeated as yet.  I told my coworker that these ‘bad guys’ have life quite easy. They know that there are always women out there  willing to put up with their foolishness. This means the bad guy does not care that he leaves a trail of broken spirits behind because there is always one more waiting.

As women, we allow bad behaviors from men. We allow ourselves to be abused physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally because of a lack of self-confidence and unstable self-esteem. As Christian women, God gives us something else to rely on in order to draw confidence and self-worth; however, the pressure of being married to or in a relationship with someone (good or bad) outweighs the big picture.

Angry with God

                             (copied image from: toholdnothing.blogspot.com)

 

I have to thank a commenter on making me think about that very dreadful feeling of “anger” when it comes to God. I have posted quite a few thing in regards to the Christian Deity but never have I admitted to ever being angry. Why is that?

I would venture to say that using the phrase “angry with God” is equivalent to “I don’t believe in God.” I was taught to never be angry with God or at least never to say it out loud. Most Christians are the same way. When tragedy strikes God-fearing people, they will become angry at everyone else but when it comes to their feelings towards God, they are more subdued or suppressed.

When someone admits to such a strong feeling towards the Creator, then another Christian will quickly squash that thought because ‘you can’t be angry with God.’ Ummmm…. Why can’t I be angry with God? Afterall, it is one of those natural feelings even the bible says that God exhibited. Jesus was not mildly perturbed by the money changers in the temple, he was pissed and even became physical. So, if this is a feeling two of the Godhead can express, then why can’t a Christian be angry but not just angry – angry with God?

We are taught that God controls everything and therefore when something good happens we say thanks. So does it stand to reason that when something bad happens we can be angry with HIM? Or is that against the Christian-God rules governing our relationship?

Well here is my truth. I have been angry with, disappointed with, frustrated with, happy with, and thankful to God. I have experienced a gamut of emotions all pointed towards the Big Guy In-Charge. I have expectations of God and when I don’t see them then I experience those unpleasant emotions. I have not quit waiting on God for some thing. However, for the most part, I just chose to continue to make the best choices and if God wants something else from me then he is certainly  capable of letting me know. If I am on the right track, then he is still certainly capable of letting me know that too.

I have also quit listening to people who will say – if you STOP and wait for God… or  if you GO then God will…. The last time I checked God was OMNI-(add various suffix) and He will do what He will do. Afterall, if a God can have  someone swallowed by a whale and use the animal like a maritime vessel; a donkey talked to convey some pretty important message; the sun stood still and the universe did not go crashing in on itself; and the dead lived again then, He is certainly capable of handling me being pissed at Him every now and then.

I am even peeved at God sometimes for allowing the devil to have so much power to create so much misery. It’s like a parent allowing a spoiled child to run loose and create havoc before addressing the issue. So Yes!!! I do get angry with God and like most relationships I get over it until the next time.

New Year No Resolutions

For this new year’s eve, a dear friend and I went out to enjoy the festivities. Our last-minute venue of choice turned out to be with a group of people who were much much older than us and the band that was playing could use some good singers. Nevertheless, it was a night to remember, not because of the heavy drinking and partying (which there was none) but just the experience. Who can beat a good laugh.

As is customary, people make new years resolution. As is customary for me, I refuse to make any resolutions. Usually, my journal starts with Happy New Year (insert year) may this year be filled with Blessings or some such sentiments. It is not that I do not believe in resolutions but for some reason this year I decided to take things as it comes. I have found that any minor/major wish at the beginning of the year never quite come to fruition or it looks grossly distorted by Dec 31. I just might be cursed or something.

This year did not start with a hopeful bang but as I thank God for each day, I have decided to be more open and flexible (I think I might have said that last year too). I guess when you get older life seems to repeat itself and not always the good things. Last year, I moved across country, dumped a career that was emotionally draining, was unemployed way longer than expected, turn down a somewhat idealish job for one that has turned out to be wayyy below expectations in every sense of the word BUT I am still thankful to be employed, alive, and had only one loss in the family.

Again, nothing turned out the way I expected it to be… Nada. So with that kind of track record, I have decided to let God do His best or worst. People keep writing, quoting and shouting that God is in charge and He knows what’s best etc etc etc. So instead of making any concrete plans for the near or far future, I have decided that I will let go and see what happens this year. By nature, I am a planner, organizer and like things to go in a certain order. I figure that all my planning has not paid off in the ways I expected so giving up the reigns may show some improvement.

 

 

I do have to be honest that I don’t fully trust that God will do any better to make this year rosier. I believe that he has the power to make all things bright and beautiful (taken from a song) but that is not always the case (Connecticut massacre right before Christmas). Yes! yes! I know the die-hard Christians will say I don’t have enough faith even as big as a mustard seed (bible reference) so what do I expect. Well that’s the thing, I have no expectation for the worst or the better. I am in the frame of mind that ‘que sera sera’ what ever he wants it to be will be-good, bad, pretty or ugly.

This is the year of one day at a time with minimal expectation. Who knows- by the end of the year (God’s will I am still alive and well) I will be back in church full time or further down the path of separation and therefore destruction.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY THIS YEAR BE FILLED WITH MANY BLESSINGS AND BETTER THAN THE LAST

 

Single + Single ≠ A Match

I was dragged to church today but not kicking and screaming; however, I was grumbling a bit . Despite the rocky start, I can admit that the service was good and the singing was fabulous. The pastor talked about releasing the sinful behaviors that create chains which anchor us to the devil. I am introspective so I know my sinful behaviors, the things that I go back to, and the things that I am a bit reluctant to let go off (and let God, so to speak). However, since this is a being christian and single navigation blog, I will get to the part that is singles related.

There were two incidents in church that just rubbed me the wrong way as a single and somewhat-Christian woman. The first was a young woman giving a thank-God-life-has-been-good-and-God-gave-me-everything-I-wanted-testimony. I have to say I do like those God did good things for me messages. Her testimony included being married and pregnant in the same year. Great for her!! (and I mean it sincerely). However, in the next breath (here is the thing that irritated me) she went on to say, in hopes of being encouraging, that God should be our all. He is all we need for a partner, for love, comfort etc. In essence, God should be the ‘it’ of our lives and those who did not get what they wanted should be okay with just God.

While I understand the importance of God in a Christian’s life, I do take offence to those people who first pointed out that they wanted more than just God and got it; however, for the rest of us poor single nonpregnant people, we should be satisfied with only God. The hypocrisy is so glaring that it makes you want to scream “you would not be saying that if you didn’t get_____.” It is almost like a poor you sucker message. God gave me my mate and a family but since you are not as fortunate then God is all you need. I don’t know if people are that insensitive because they are self-absorbed or they are trying, but failing badly, to give hope to others. Either way, just stick to your praise and testimony and shut the hell up if you don’t know what to say to those who were not so abundantly blessed.

The second issue that came up in church was the pastor assumption that because two people are single then they will naturally make a good match. If becoming coupled was as easy as 1-2-3, then we would all be in long and happy marriages. The pastor’s mistake is a common one that many people (especially those that are coupled) tend to perpetuate. There is this prevailing assumption that 1 + 1 will =2. Obviously, there is more to making a good connection with someone than their marital status-this is something many single people are very aware of from their relationship misadventures.

A single status is only one criteria when a Christian single is searching for a mate. Being single, as a friend points out, does NOT mean available. It is always sarcastically amusing when someone you know tells you that she knows this person who is single and you two should get together. The next question is ‘tell me about him/her’. The reply usually goes along these lines: s/he is a nice person but I don’t know that much about person X except that s/he is single. This is the what the ****** moment. So what your misguided friend or family is saying is that I am desperate to be with anyone because I am single! I am not implying that these random get togethers could not work out (probably the same percentage as internet dating) but the idea that just because we are two single people then we are bound to hitting-it-off. Really!!!! I say again really!!!!!

The older Christian single status is a very tricky place to navigate. If church people are not being condescending, then they are trying to get you coupled. It is hard to tell church members to piss-off but instead you graciously grin and bear these subtle insults which are wrapped in well-meaning intentions (or not).  The best defense is to try and find the humor in silly situations like these. I recognize these faux pas  frequency could cause a Christian single to momentarily forget her lady-like manners and say something very unchristian  . I do believe that most singles can express themselves quite clearly and if we need your opinions or blind interventions, we can speak up about that too.

God Is Not Completly Flatlined

First off, I have to send condolences to the families of the victims in the Newtown school tragedy. It has become so frequent to hear of monsters or agents of evil who obviously want to commit suicide but deciding to kill  others before doing the right thing and killing themselves.

Whenever children are involved in these horrors, it makes the tragedy even more heart wrenching. Children are young and innocent. The bible says that we have to be like a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. This childlike state is in reference to their innocence-something we seem to lose as we age or when touched by the ugliness of this world.  The survivors are forever marred by such an event. It saddens me to know that many of those children will have emotional scars for a very long time. This should not be the life for the young and the innocent.

As I listened to President Obama’s somber and tearful speech, I made note of one very interesting thing he said. He refered to a passage in the bible “May God bless the memory of the victims and, in the words of Scripture, heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.” I have to say I was blown away by this because of the downward spiral of the religious state of the country.

There are times, it seem, that every religious related thing is haggled over, judged, sent into court bla bla bla and then censored. However, to hear the leader of the free world quoting the bible and not having a bunch of non christians or non religious people threatening to file suit, it was refreshing. I can imagine how his speech writers might have had a heart attack and tried to discuss the negatives of referencing the bible.

There is some hope that despite all the craziness in this world God can be used in an appropriate context by politicians and that America has not flatlined God. It is nice to see a blip on the radar coming from those in power-there is some hope that God is not completely dead in the free world.

Church Goers Vs Christians

In the last month or so, I had the pleasure of observing two professed Christians/church goers. It was not an intentional surveillance but nevertheless I could not help but reflect on something my mother said to me. Due to my lengthy absence from church, she always says that I should not look at the people because we go to church to serve God.

When I am in a good mood, I totally understand that concept. However, when I am in an anti-christianity mood, then my first thoughts are that this is complete b.s. because in church you are surrounded and have to interact with these people (good, bad or in between).  Anyways, one Christian had such a strong verbal expression of her faith that I could not help but think she probably put people off. I also could not help but note that she has set herself up for a fall because of a legalistic view of Christianity. The ironic thing is her house is in a bit of a mess.  The other christian has fallen back to smoking. He shows a conniving contempt for his boss and he has a loose tongue to quickly share ie. gossip about others.

I can’t help but find the humor with these two people. My mother is right. We are all humans who are very fallible (some more so than others) and if we stare too long at the professed Christians, we will lose sight of the purpose of Christianity. I am certainly not in a place to judge anyone (now or ever) because I am one of the ‘more so fallibles.’ It’s actually quite refreshing to admit to being a terrible sinner with one foot in to hell

Don’t get me wrong! I am not reveling in my current fallen status. I am just aware and admitting that there is nothing perfect about me. Actually everything is imperfect. It is funny how as professed christians we tend to deny our ‘evil’ side and  extensively promote the ‘holier than thou’ status.  I am slowly starting accept that professed Christians are not as perfect as they portray. I am not as disappointment or surprised when one of the flock behaves badly. I do wonder if they have admitted to themselves that they are in denial about their minor sins/almost perfect status.

I still am not sure how much closer I am to getting myself back to church. The calling has not hit yet but on rare occasions a fleeting thought crosses my mind. Despite my withdrawal, prayer continues to be a daily part of my life – a habit I just can’t give up.

Questioning the Bible

I had taken a hiatus from blogging because there seem to be nothing of great interest in the religious world to blog about at this time. When it comes to religion, there are so few things to discuss before I start repeating yourself. I am not back with a renewed vigor but with a struggle of the bible and believing kind.

Here is my religious struggle. I have stopped attending church on a regular basis because I just don’t want to be there and I am having some serious questions about the bible. I do visit a church on occasion (when I visit my church-going parents) and I do acknowledge that some of the messages are pretty good. However, I am becoming an unbeliever in the word-for-word bible. I do unwaveringly believe that a God exists and he created the things we see but the details which are laid out by the Christian bible (any religion as a matter of fact) seems a bit fuzzy.

I have realized that faith in one’s religion takes a lot of gusto, trusting, and naivety. It’s like that passage in which Jesus states that you have to be like a child to enter into the kingdom of heaven. He was right. Children believe a lot of things without question. It is only when we question that we (I) start scratching my head thinking W-H-A-T??? Interestingly, the same bible encourages the believers to test and see ‘if it is true.’ Unfortunately, my testing has led to more questions that no one seems to be able to answer.

I recognize that this could be a phase (a very long phase) but I have no intention of denying my ambiguity about the bible and religion. I am not ready to toss out the bible and neither am I willing to venture to the dark side of atheism. Something just seems ‘rotten in Denmark’ but the alternative to walk away does not seem right either. What to do? What to do?

With all that being said, the true face of Christianity is quite majestic: The caring for others; The willingness to call a stranger brother or sister;  The sense that there is so much more to life than what the eye can see. Ironically, I have not given up prayer. It is quite a comforting practise-afterall, I do believe in the existence of a God who can see and hear. The essence or the ‘spirit’ of religion is hard to resist in such a f-up world. It’s almost like a peace in the midst of chaos. I guess that’s the part I find very difficult to give up despite my questioning.

Desperate Times, Ungodly Measures

(copied image:crimson crow.com)

 

Most people, while growing up, usually imagine their adult lives as an easily navigated road. Most people have a very clear plan of with whom, what, when and where their lives will take them. However, the cruel reality about being an adult as well as with Christian beliefs is that the roads are never always clear and smooth as imagined.  With the state of the economy and the direction of the ‘doom and gloom’ of this world, many Christians are finding themselves in some difficult situations. They are facing the reality of life that desperate times pushes them to think and even act on ungodly measures.

This is not the first or will it be the last time that Christians have faced difficulty either as a group or as part of a larger population. Most bible believers are taught to hold fast to prayer, fasting, and all things glorifying God in order to make the difficulties of their lives more bearable. It follows in the teaching of God will not give you more than you can carry. For each person, her load bearing capacity is different. Or is it more like every Christian’s load bearing capacity is the same but emotional, cognitive and spiritual will/determination are different?

The secular world has the opportunity to make choices from the ‘broad road’ when push comes to shove. For the secular world, morality can be easily over ridden to do what is in the best interest of the individual. It is the survival of the fittest scenario. Christians do not  or should not have that mentality. However, when those desperate times are not particularly followed by measures that are Godly, the human nature in every God worshipper starts to ponder on the ungodly measures as a means to survive. The doubt, the questioning, the bewilderment at God’s allowance of such difficulty and pain begins to drown out the thanksgiving, the praise, praying and worshipping.

The ‘narrow road’ to salvation is quite limiting. Such restrictions can make the believer wrestle with his brief or long moment of wanting to choose the opportunity that the ‘broad road’ offers despite the fact that it can easily lead to ‘destruction.’ It is not always easy to hold onto God or faith when things are too good or going bad. The desperate times truly pushes the boundaries of one’s faith and beliefs. Even though not one believer can tell another just how much load s/he is capable of bearing, it puts things in perspective when reflecting on the early Christians who were fed to the lions for sport. Talk about really desperate times and still choosing God.

Religious Doubt

Believing in a God is truly a faith-based business. If one should stop and think about all those religious preachings, it may cause some serious doubt and questioning of one’s sanity. Everything about religion, no matter which belief you have, seems more like a cruel fairytale in which you are rooting for the happily ever after ending.

If we should seriously think about our beliefs and compare that to other  religious views, they are all  so very similar. The premise is that there is a deity or plural deities who command the universe and our lives. This deity is asking for complete obedience in our earthly lives and is especially pleased the more down trodden and burden laid our lives are in order to show true worship. Suffering for one’s religion is ALWAYS good. There is a sneaking suspicion that there are not many religions that advocate for some hint of happiness on earth as well as in heaven. There is only one true purpose on earth and that is to point others to his/their true magnificence and acceptance to his/their Godly status.

Majority of the religions do not advocate for their followers to enjoy our time and make the best possible life here but to aspire to a shangri-la that we cannot see but only imagine. This shangri-la is the opposite of earth and it is always  a palace with eternal happiness and great bounty. It’s funny that true happiness is always out of reach. Earth is the epitome of all things evil, misery, strife etc. while all things good are related to God. This earth-heaven contrast is interesting because God also created the earth. For the major religions, there are very strict outlined ways into heaven ie. for Christianity, Jesus states ”…no one comes to the father but by me.”  This implies that even the idea of a ‘good person’ who does not know Jesus will not have a seat on the transport to the pie in the sky.

Christians walk away from God/religion because they start to think realistically and practically. They recognize a sense of absurdity and almost fantastical thinking that is needed to believe in heaven. On the other hand, sinners come to God/religion because their practical and realistic thinking is overwhelming to handle and need an escape to the possibility of something better than this (world).

The point is for someone to be Christian or a follower of any other religion, we have to believe in the  impossible, we MUST have faith, we must believe in an alternate reality called heaven in order to deal with the harsh reality of earth.  People say religion is for the weak but I beg to different that true religion is definitely not for the faint of heart because they have to think completely outside the reality box.