When God created man and woman, He thought it was “good.” Note the bible did not say, he thought certain parts were good, other’s were so-so and the select few bad. The bible clearly said “good.” However, throughout the centuries, the body was sectioned off into the good parts and the bad parts. Today, there are a few ‘bad’ parts which still causes great anxiety and shame to many. On a side note: There are two very interesting commercials on television that makes me chuckle because they are funny as well as their discrete advertising for the ‘bad’ body parts in which they never identified by name:
The Summer’s Eve’s Hail to the V commercial: “It’s the cradle of life. It’s the center of civilization. Over the ages and through the world, men have fought for it, battled for it, even died for it. One might say it’s the most powerful thing on earth. So come on ladies show it a little love.”
Cialis: “When the moment is right”
So, readers brace yourself! Here’s another topic for a healthy open Christian adult discussion. [Viewers discretion is advised. Real images of genitals are featured in this post :-0].
After watching a very interesting documentary specially focused on women called Why Is Sex Fun? I thought it warranted a post to explore the body God created. The focus of the documentary is to highlight the researches that are exploring the purpose, hows and whats of female orgasms. Surprisingly, it is a very recent turn of the century acknowledgement that women actually have orgasms. Most young women are not given the abbreviated or any version about the joys of sex (there is also a book by that title) and the understanding of the female anatomy. This could be due to two things: women cannot teach what they do not know or they are too embarrassed to talk about it. The males, on the other hand, have more access to information albeit that it may be crude. To top it all off, except for those bland videos in school, men and women do not know a thing about each other’s mechanics except for gossips or waiting until they are in real live experiences. Please note that not everyone has experiences with pornographic materials. Living in an era where people regularly go into space and do very amazing feats, it is quite sad that we have yet to fully discover the body God created.
In certain countries, female’s ‘bad’ body parts incur the wrath of castration and fistulas which are still predominant problems. In other countries, women are denied gynaecological health care because the majority male physicians are forbidden to have any contact with a woman’s private parts or body in general. The vagina, clitoris and uterus hold such a mystery even for modern women. So why the mystery? Why the shame and hiding when God created something that was good? Men have the advantage to get to know themselves because their penises and scrotum are right there in plain sight since birth. They have to come in contact with it on a daily basis which eliminates the visual mysteries. However, for women, the vagina and clitoris are hidden and need to be searched out. Little girls are deterred from any curious exploration and she is immediately shamed if any attempt is made in the presence of a caregiver. That is the first message for women that certain parts of themselves are to be ignored because it is not appropriate and off limits. For conservative women, their first discovery of their sexual organ is by someone else- a lover, husband or their doctor. It might seem ludicrous but many women have never seen their vaginal area. Hint ladies and gentlemen, all vaginas are not the same. They don’t all look-alike :-). Take for instance the pictures below:
(both images copied from wikipedia.org)
(copy from: mydoctortells.jivisha.com and DrMichaelgoodman.com respectively)
Let’s discuss some basic body and sex ed tidbits for the conservation Christian woman and man:
-Sex really does start in the brain for both genders. However, for women, it’s much more important. Women are slow starters and need some warming up (foreplay) time while men don’t. One researcher proposed that couples enjoy better sex when they are in love and are attracted to each other. Well, God created marriage and sex for lovers. So, the reasearch should not be telling a Christian anything new.
-A bigger penis is not always better (despite what men brag) and size does matter for both genders. (Another hint! Majority of the men are average size between 5-7″). There is such a thing as too small, too big, too long, too thin, crooked, too tight, women have ‘short or tilted’ vaginas, too loose (reason Kegel exercises are recommended after natural birth and as we age). Which ever one describes you, male or female, it’s good to know and therefore finding the right position during sex helps. This is where communication becomes very important. It does not hurt to have technique books like the kama sutra that addresses such issues
-The vagina is a muscle that contracts and stretches. This is a note for virgins: first time sex and pap smears can be painful because this muscle has not been used in vigorous sexually related exercises or given birth. Just image it as trying to run a mile without stopping when you never ran before-it will hurt or feel sore. (Feel free to ask your gynaecologist to use the smallest speculum during your pap). For women who have been out of the action for some time, reintroduction to sex can be an uncomfortable experience for some.
-The clitoris is very important and quite sensitive. It is the concentrated pleasure center for women. Many women are not able to have orgasms through vaginal intercourse alone. The clitoris needs some love and attention in the same way men would like for women to pay attention to their scrotum (nick named by some as the cousins or the boys).
-Men ejaculate a whitish substance called semen. However, some women also ‘ejaculate’ a clear liquid as well which, in quantity, is more than the average female. Some women describe it as the feeling of peeing; however, research indicates that it is not urine. All women do become ‘wet’ when aroused. It’s the body’s natural lubrication period and it is also important in anticipation for a dry penis during sex. Some women do have difficulty with their natural lubrication and they do need assistance (notice the KY jelly commercials on tv?).
-During arousal, men’s penises increase in length and girth (aptly nicknamed the growers) while other men do not increase much therefore, what you see is what you get (showers). Women’s vaginal wall also becomes engorged and the canal becomes more narrow during arousal (to give the penis a cozy hug) while the clitoris also enlarges and comes out of hiding for better stimulation.
-Breasts and the rest of the body are a package deal. For women (and men) they are an erogenous zone. However, they can be very sensitive. (Some women are aware of that during pregnancy or that time of the month). Handle with care. Each male and female have additional body parts that can create similar arousal feelings as the genitals and breasts. Discovery is what helps each person to find their own.
-In the erect position, men’s penises are at their most vulnerable for damage. Some people will refer to the penis as broken when it suffers an injury but that is not an accurate description of the injury. A man who has ever had a ‘mishap’ will tell you it can hurt like hell. So don’t be fooled by it’s strong brave stance, it too needs to be handled with care. When men brag about being up for hours, they are grossly exaggerating. Such a situation is called priapism which is when blood is trapped in the penis and the only way to fix it is with a huge needle to help relieve the pressure. Ouch.
-Orgasms are good! That’s why men like them so much. There is nothing evil or sinful about it. It’s definitely a right to have that experience at least once in your life – guilt free.
-Contrary to what is on tv, women can be very very sexual and some even have more of an interest in sex than some men. Everyone’s libido is not created equal. However, women can be more inhibited and prudish which interferes with them discovering their bodies and full sexual capabilities and expression. This is not biological it’s psychological. A woman needs to believe she is beautiful, sensual and that what she is blessed with is a gift from God.
It has taken me many years to not feel ashamed to want to learn about my own body and to even stand in front of mirror in my birthday suit. It took a gynaecology visit in my mid 20’s to prompt me to read more and learn about what was going on with me. It took sex to discover that I need to understand the mechanics of me in order to find pleasure or even learn about pleasure. It took all these outside things to happen to finally say it’s time to figure out what’s what. This is the information age and women and men are still ignorant because of shame.
Those are hardly all the tidbits we should all know about ourselves and the opposite sex. If you are confident enough to want to know more, then there are tasteful and very helpful books that celebrates and informs about the body. If you are too embarrassed to pick one up at a book store, then do a discreet shopping on-line. The body is not a sin. To think that way and call it as such is to call God a liar. Christians do shun away from anything related to the ‘bad’ body parts, yet it’s inescapable. I am also sure that there are some who may find the above pictures “distasteful.” It’s interesting, that for every aspect of life, people are encouraged to seek out information. You want to get married, there are millions of books on marriage, you are planning on having a baby-millions of books, the common cold-books, the life span of a gnat – thousands. However, no one will ever openly say, you want to know about your personal body parts go get a book, a video, or talk to a professional. That is the only time discouraging words such as ‘unholy, sinful, inappropriate, etc…’ would come into play. Do not be ignorant. Go and discover that what God created really was good.
-The body is good!
-Learning about one’s body is good!
-Genitals are not dirty. God provided them, he knew what he was doing!