"I Need My Mummy"

    We all grew up with the older generation telling us that “family is important.” During the the teenage years, we tend to ignore that and at times push family away. I loved my family but I was also ready to get away from them. I chose a college that was on the opposite side of the country so they could not just drop in whenever they wanted and I could use the excuse that it was too far to come home more than one time a year.
   After college, I continued that trend to be away from them physically. I wanted my full independence and space without feeling teetered to the family. I truly enjoyed that distance until two weeks ago. Well actually it’s been longer than two weeks ago but I had much more need to have them (a least my mother) close by.
  I am not sure what had changed but suddenly I have been feeling that it is time for me to go home. Home for me means being near to people who love me. I have assessed that the problem is I expected to have my own family by now and would have that unconditional support from a husband; however, life does not seem to be going in that direction.
   So the issue that popped up two weeks ago was I chose to have an exploratory procedure done that required general anaesthesia and was advised to have someone stay with me and help me for at least the first night after being released from the hospital. The procedure went according to plan and a coworker/close aquaintance was there to take me to my appointment and took me home. When I got home, I could only make it to my coach because I felt so sick and completely out of it. The problem was my coworker/close aquaintance pretty much dropped me off, did not even offer to stay a few hours (she had taken the day off) and did not stay long enough to take her purse off her shoulder.
   I understand that she did not have any obligation to stick around but I have to say to her credit she did check in on me by phone two times later that day. When I was finally coherent a few hours later, I realized that I was in need of assistance because I still felt sick and in pain. I recognized that I really wished my mother was around. I thought to myself that she would have taken care of me with no questions asked  and I would never have felt weird with her around.
    The conclusion I have reached is lone ranger days are over. I have enjoyed my distance away from family but it is time to go back to the people who will be there for me whenever I need them or not. If you had a mother like mine, then you would understand my withdrawal. I remember my mother being a good caretaker especially when I would get sick as a child (which was quite a bit). I remember having her around was very comforting. I do not know that if I had a husband he would have been able to replicate my mother’s caretaking abilities. Needless to say,  my mother was very worried about me being by myself and if she could have gotten on a plane she would have done that without me agreeing to her flying 4 hrs away. It seems silly at this age (30’s) to want my mother around but the truth is there is no one like my mummy.


3 thoughts on “"I Need My Mummy"

  1. I once read somewhere that a good mother’s love is the closest thing to God’s on earth. Go home and good luck.

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