Do I Look Fat? Yes! So Stop Asking


When I hear that line ‘Do I look fat?’ in a movie, I wish someone would actually say yes. Women are very critical of themselves. We are never satisfied and every time a woman passes her reflection, just like a house of mirrors, she sees something different.  The ‘I-See-Fat’ disease is contagious to every female regardless the body size. Unfortunately, I have also been infected in the recent years.

The first symptoms of the I-see-fat disease started after I failed to keep up my 3-4 times weekly workout. A year later the weirdest thing happened; I could not zip up my favourite size 4 pair of jeans that I bought in college. I was in great denial to the point of wearing them unzipped halfway with a long shirt. I finally conceded and declared myself fat! Keep in mind that I am  5’4″ and the most I have weighed in my life is 120 lbs. I was officially a 120 lb fattie.

My mirror reflected large thighs (20 inches circumference). I thought “I had let myself go.”  I saw bat wings (that barely jiggled unless I was waving my arms like a lunatic). I saw back fat (that you could barely squeeze unless I hunched a certain way). The biggest travesty was my muffin top (in which I had to bend over an inch forward to see my underwear). I had my first beer belly (actually it was more like a small nail polish bottle belly).

Encountering this new unknown disease, I had to immediately do something to cure it. So I started to diet which consisted of me eating salads and cutting back on portion size.  The reality hit that I could not eat anything I wanted anymore without consequence. I was definitely living in a house of mirrors created by me and the society.

If women do not believe how society influences body image, then think about this for a minute. While I was living in the islands, I remembered being told by a random stranger during my teens that I looked good but I would look better if I gained weight. I also remembered being ashamed of my “big breasts” (which were only 34B) and I could not wait for the chance to get breast reduction. Now in the US, skinny and large breast (compared to other women, I had mosquito bites for breasts) were the hit thing and suddenly I did not have to gain weight or hide the chest area.  The ideal mirror of beauty changed in the matter of hours flying from one country to the next.

As I said before, I have been infected by the I-See-Fat disease because of years of being subjected to  ridiculously skinny/near anorexic women being shoved down my throat as the ideal image of beauty. As a single, this is especially brutal because we are still on the dating scene and first physical impression says quite a lot.

The I-See-Fat disease, just like herpes, is not curable but it does go into remission on occasion. When I have a flare up, I will be on the scale daily checking to make sure the number stays between 110-115. If I get too lazy to exercise during the week, I think I am missing something, and salad has become a regular staple. 

In conclusion, a fat woman knows she is fat; but the ‘do I look fat’ questions are from women who have no need to ask. So, I do hope the next time you ask anyone that question , he/she should really say yes just for the hell of it 🙂  

PS. I am back into my college jeans and I can wear them comfortably but they fit tighter than they did in college.

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5 thoughts on “Do I Look Fat? Yes! So Stop Asking

  1. Harleyq2,
    I know this is a woman topic but sometimes I think women needs to hear from men on such issues. As a black man I can certainly identify with the comment you received that if you gained weight you would look better. As a Jamaican man myself I know that years ago a woman wasn’t considered good looking unless she got beef on the bone. I remembered years ago when fat was all the rage and slim women used to take “fowl pills” to gain weight especially in the back area. I am not sure what it is like now though but I think most black men still like the full-figured ladies. In Nigeria for example husbands-to-be would send their wives-to-be to “fat farms” to be fattened up for marriage, even in this day and age. In fact the same applies in Mauritania. On the Island of Nauru, the perception is the bigger the woman the more beautiful she is. Some people would obviously think of that as gross but European standards of beauty is not universal. In any event not all European males like skinny women anyway.

    According to scientists also males will more go for full-figured women because the chances of procreation are increased. They also say there is a reduced risk of cancer in women with large thighs and of course big buttocks because the fat is deposited in these areas. So for me the fat woman wins everytime – big equals beautiful. I wish more women would stop pandering to the whims of society and be happy and accept themselves for who they are. Of course if excess weight poses a risk to your health then by all means cut it down. BTW maybe you need to pile the pounds on as that person you spoke of suggested to increase your chances of finding that elusive mate. And I am not being flipant here either.

    1. Henry, you are welcome to make comments on any of my post. First, I am from a long line of family members who are naturally small in figure. I could not “gain weight” to ever be considered full figured. I like … no I love my size. Not everyone is meant to big or small. However, there is definately the issue of weight that influence the American woman. I agree that black men like women who are more ’rounded’ and I am fine with that because everyone has their preferences. I have no reason and will never try to change my size for anyone. If any man thinks I am too small or too toned or whatever, then that’s his problem not mine

      1. Harleyq2,
        I agree. I think my empahsis was on being happy with who you are instead of pandering to what society says should be the norm. My last line was meant to be tongue in cheek! Beauty afterall is in the eyes of the beholder so didn’t mean to imply that you are not beautiful the way you are.

  2. LMAO at your comparison to fat and herpes! But if presented with a choice of one or the other…hmmm….lemmme think….hahaha

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