The purpose of this blog is to talk about real struggles that Christians face on their spiritual journey. I for one am not perfect and will never be but I try to keep the bible and reality in perspective. For most of my adult Christian years, I struggle with Christianity because I have been sick and tired of the perfect Christians with the perfect biblical answers to everything.
I question things. God gave me this sense of curiosity. Even though I frequently ask the “why God?” question, at the end of the day and the moment I wake up I say “thank you God.” My belief in God actually is strengthened by the things and people around me. These are my evidence of a creator and the bible is a guideline. I find a much greater joy in reading my bible by myself than going to church. I get a rush from going over verses like “each day your mercies are made new” (Paraphrase Lamentations 3: 22,23) “create in me a clean heart o God and renew a right spirit in me” (Psalm 51:10) and become somber by verses like “O God thou know my foolishness and my sins are not hid from you” (Psalm 69: 5). I can go on and on because my bible is highlighted up to the yin yang and has years of my writing in the margins. I know my bible.
One of the most annoying things about religion is that people (christians) do not know how to be honest with themselves about their struggles. I guess it is because honesty may mean that the person lacks faith. I have learnt to be very open with me and with God. Maybe that is the reason I gravitated towards the screw ups in the Bible: Jacob who stole his brother’s birthright; Rahab the harlot and descendant of Jesus; King David (a man after God’s own heart) who ordered Bathsheba’s husband’s death in order to marry her; and Peter who denied Jesus 3x and made some major blunders. Even Jesus was a little unconventional when he healed on the Sabbath, interfered with Mosaic justice when the crowd wanted to stone the adulterous woman, defied his mother to stay behind in the temple when he was a child and became uncharacteristically angry and physically aggressive when he overturned the money changers tables who were in the temple.
Jesus’ humanity showed quite a few times and the most obvious was the Garden of Gethsemane when he prayed and ask the father to take this “cup” away from him if it was the Father’s will. I am a practical person and my slow withdrawal or time out from the church (not God) is because people appear to be too perfect (yes I know that you cannot look at people), too quick to quote scriptures and hide behind it. I have been blessed with a very good Christian friend whom I have known for years. I have to say without her I would have gone completely mad because we have been able to be “real” about our journey. We talk about the good, the bad, the embarrassing and we do not sugar coat the hard parts of being human and the conflict of being Christian. It’s such a rarity but a very welcomed one.
I see a lot of difficult things and there are no scriptures in the bible to address any of them. The bible is a great guideline but it does not replace or shelter life and experiences. However, I can admit that a good scripture does bring encouragement. I enjoy a praise story like everyone else but the best part of the praise is the reality of what we each struggle with on a daily basis. How honest are you with yourself and God? We can be perfect in church but what is life really like when no one is watching?