picture take from http://www.marriageadviceonline.net/no-physical-intimacy
I was having a conversation with a single christian friend who is basking in the newness of a relationship with a christian man. The conversation turned to the question how far is too far to go with your partner before marriage?
The bible and every religious organization known to man has lifted up the esteems of virginity and abstinence. This is the expectation of single christians no matter the age. So having understand her (and other christian’s) desire to remain pure for her mate but mostly because the bible says so, I asked a question. So, everyone expects that the two people should grow together and get to know each other in every way but what happens to the sexual aspect? Is it supposed to remain in hibernation until the “I do?”
Oh course there is no good answer to that questions but it makes a good discussion. The chat turned to how far is too far according to the christian bible? The bible indicates that most of the women who were married did not have much or any contact with their intended. After two or so years of dating in the modern world, is a peck on the cheek the most suitable act of intimacy for a couple (young or mature)? Is genital manipulation acceptable with the understanding that the two private areas will never meet?
The difficult side to Christian human sexuality is that when we meet someone in which we have some attraction then the body starts to shout “YES” while the mind quietly says “NO.” The longer we are committed to an individual then the harder it is to remain chase and pure in the biblical sense of the word. In today’s society, asking the ‘too far’ question is very legitimate because of our more liberated lifestyles. Most adults live alone which affords the right moments for things to happen that were not intended. We spend time with our love interest alone versus in the company of others who could be hall monitors of our behaviors. We just simply have more opportunities for an innocent gesture to become a moment of unbridled or my new word ‘prebridal’ passion.
I have already posted my views on singular masturbation but, when it comes to the involvement of someone else (mutual masturbation) then that makes things a little grey. Adults are very conscientious that sex is much more than joining together of genitals (hence, President Clinton’s initial declaration was very bogus). According to the bible and scientific research, it all starts in the brain and our thoughts before the first physical contact. So, I must ask then what would be considered appropriate for Christians?
The how far is too far question depends on each couple and what they have discussed, before being placed in sexual situation, as acceptable levels of intimacy. They both need to agree on what will give them the sense that they have not sinned before God and against each other. On the other hand, they should agree on what will help them to grow in their intimate relationship. Needless to say, there was no one-size-fits-all solution. My friend has a more conservative view than I about such things. I simply believe that I am too old to play the coy skittish teenage girl anymore; however, I do believe if a couple is not satisfied with a peck on the cheek and go for a advanced sexual goal with their Christian mates, then make sure to discuss and agree on how far is appropriate before hand.
What’s your view on this issue?