Church has been an interesting institution for me. I was always in a church since birth. That is just the nature of my small island where religion is emeshed in schools and different aspects of one’s life. There was definately a sense of community and belonging that I remembered. Moving to the US and living in larger cities, I recognized how things are very distant and more like smoke and mirrors. People’s caring for their fellow Christians only extends to the popularity you have in the church and what good gossip you can provide. There is no sense of community. Church is like a gathering place on the day of rest to show just how holy and caring you can be-on that day.
My sabbatical from the institution has been a couple of months and there is no set time in the future I see myself returning (I could probably use a divine intervention with this issue). I guess actually I am sure that my search is nowhere satisfied but have evoked more questions when it comes to God and religion (a number of my posts reflects my disconnect). Church does not feel like a friendly welcoming place anymore. There is a weird sense of discomfort when I get close to a church. It is sort of like that scene in the Omen when Damien’s family tried to take him to church and just the sight of it makes him agitated (I am not saying I am the devil 🙂 ).
Church is not a place where everbody knows my name or gives a crap what’s happening with you anymore. This is not an isolated experience. I was having a conversation with a woman a few days ago and she was very miffed at her church which she had attended for years. The issue was she had surgery and no one from the church even inquired of her wellbeing or went to visit with her. She subsequently left the church in hopes of finding a community, a family who knows her name.
Church has become…well… just church. It is something to do one day out of the week. It sometimes feels like an obligation or you will go straight to hell. The thrill is gone. I remember as a child being so excited to go and participate in the kiddies services and recite bible verses and meet with friends and learn something new about Jesus. Now, it is as if I have heard all that can be said and reinterpreted about God and Jesus. Now, I have questions and the answers are not fitting the round hole anymore. Religion and God looks so much different as an adult than it did as a child. Cheers to those who have found a church where everybody does know your name.