As the holiday season fast approaches, the emphasis will be on families and spreading love, joy and all that cheer. For most singles, the holidays are absolute torture and you would prefer to cut on your wrists rather than endure being the “token single person.”
This is the time of year when as a single you pray very earnestly to God to bring that person in your life in order to avoid the uncomfortable position you are forced into and still having to smile and be cheery. In my opinion a single’s suffering can be summed up into a few categories that we have had at least one of those experiences.
The first is the Pity Invitation/Singles Charity: This is the phenomenon in which a ‘wonderful couple’ from church or somewhere would invite you to dine with them during the holidays but once the season is over then it’s hi and bye with little interactions. I usually feel that these people are trying to do their charity work for the year and we are it! So you sit through dinner and smile and nod while they try to get to know you. I have always felt forced to say ‘yes’ even though every fibre of my being is screaming “Nooooo.”
Second is Your Singleness on Display: This occurs mostly at family functions. Everyone has arrived and they are there with spouse and children in tow. You are the only one except the children who arrive without a mate. No sooner after the festivities begin everyone seems to focus the conversation on your single status and proceed to ask those stupid questions we all hate. You know those ‘are you seeing someone?’ ‘do yo want to get married?’ ‘how is it that you cannot find someone?’ Usually, you are screaming inside and want to yell “Shut the F**K up” even though you do not curse.
Third is Commiserate with Other Singles. This is when you choose not to go home or accept the random pity invitation and you get together with other single people to try to ease the difficulty of how much the holidays reminds you that you are single. You would rather not be there but this is the best alternative to the above scenarios.
Fourth is the Hiding. This is the last resort for most singles. In order to avoid it all you stay at home to sleep, watch tv, spend endless hours on the computer and sleep some more. You just don’t feel like putting on the holiday cheery face or making nice with anyone and most of all you escape the awkward feelings and random answers about still being single especially on the holidays.
I know that this is the time of the year when most singles become depressed and have difficulty coping because of how much the season emphasizes the importance of being with someone and having a family of your own. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to change this situation unless God did answer your prayers in the nick of time. A positive spin on this is to be thankful for another year, be thankful for the things that God has brought you through and for the important people in your life. For Christian singles, we can become focused on what God has not allowed in our personal lives and sometimes miss the little blessings he has done.