I never totally understood men’s plight when they would complain about their wives bitching, moaning or nagging until I had to work with one of those women. Interestingly, even though the bible is mum about a lot of things plaguing us modern Christians, it does speak very unfavourably about nags. The bible suggest that it is better to sleep on the roof of your home than listen to a nag (Prov 21, 9). If that verse does not indicate what a nasty habit nagging is, then I don’t know what would.
I can only remember once in my life that I briefly started to become that person. Frankly, I could not stand hearing myself continuously pointing out or complaining about the same things. So, I stopped and completely separated myself from that person. When someone starts to become a nag, it is an indicator of a few things. The first is that the nagger is just an avid selfish complainer and nothing satisfies that person. Second, the nagger’s voice is not heard and opinions not validated so s/he has to keep repeating her/himself. The third is that there are aspects of the naggee’s personality and behaviors that the nagger hates and probably will never change so the most passive way of saying “I can’t stand you as person” is to complain about every little thing.
The coworker falls into the category of the avid complainer and nothing can soothe her soul. The problem with the bitching, moaning and nagging is that people will tune you out and they only hear “blah blah blah blah blah.” People like those are exhausting and annoying. In the case of the coworker, it is pure attention seeking and at times her martyrdom comes into play.
Martyrdom in this case refers to those people who will do things for others then complains about anything and everything. The whole world affects them only, or specifically targets them, and they are always the one “doing everything.” Everything is overly dramatic. I unfortunely lost my cool at work a month or so ago, raised my voice and told her that “everything is not always about you.” It was not my intention to address that annoying moment in that way but I guess I had it up to my eyeballs then and I am getting filled up again with a few recent incidents.
The naggers do not realize just how much of a negative effect they are having on others; hence the bible’s suggestion to run away when you can. I have not perfected the “out-of-body experience” when she is bitching but my earphones plugged in and listening to music on the computer at work helps. Handling this issue at work or church is so much different from addressing it in the home. At work or church, these people are strangers and different rules apply.
Even if nagging is a result of the naggee being completely lazy(eg. Jon & Kate plus 8 show), it still does not work (I stopped watching it because Kate was annoying with her bitching). It is one of the most ineffective means of communication and it only results in resentment from the people who have to listen to it everyday (couple times a day).
Unfortunately, it seems to be primarily a woman’s disease (not that there aren’t men bitchers too). We women sometimes seem proud to report that we nag at so and so. In the long-term, it only hurts the relationship with others and the image that people carry of the bitchers, moaners and naggers is that they are just an absolutely miserable set of people.