A Lady In The Streets and A Whore In Bed


My office has a very casual environment and many a discussions, which could be considered irreverent for a workplace, does pop up during the lunch hour. I smile and think that most men would blush at the candid conversations coming from a group of ladies. One such conversation is the lady vs the whore.

 Even though I have done a post to address this issue, I think within the last few months, I have a better understanding of what it means for men when they say they want a ‘lady in the streets and a whore in bed.’ The first time I heard the rap song by Ludacris with a similar line (the only thing that stood out in that song), I have to say I was a little offended by his declaration. Here is a man, like so many others, demanding this double role for women. Be proper in public but give all the pleasures to him in the bedroom. The nerve of him!

Then there came the conversation with the ladies at work and a few of the older women (over 40) stated that their mothers had admonish the very same thing. I have to say I was a little shocked. Women are the ones passing on such things to their daughters? Seriously? I started to think about it and a few things pop out at me and this specifically can be applied to the prudish Christian woman.

What do men find interesting about prostitutes and ‘loose women?’ Here is an answer I believe makes sense. A prostitute is able to be free with herself sexually and with what she has to offer (albeit for a price). The idea, for a man, that his woman is like a prostitute in bed is not that she is cheap and the scum of the earth but that she does things that a very ‘uptight’ wife would not do and enjoys it. As I have said repeatedly, most Christians are taught to revile every aspect of sexuality and this is evident in the marriage bed or before the marriage.

I like the idea that my coworkers’ mothers were helping them to be more well-rounded women. When Christians talk about being fulfilled there is an exclusion of the sexuality aspect of their lives. Do you think that if most pastors implemented that lady/whore philosophy in their premarital counseling then there would be less problems in between the sheets? This is not to say that men do not have some problems turning on their full desires after being told to lock it away; however, I believe that comparative to women it is a small number.

It is a liberating view for single and married Christians in the sense of freeing people from an ancient constraint placed on humans by the church NOT God. Women need to learn to enjoy their sexiness. There are just certain words that are not uttered about Christian women: sexy, alluring, vivacious,  sensual, red-hot (you can add your own words). 

Do not misconstrue that I am encouraging women to flaunt their wears but for Christian women to recognize that they are women who hold the switch that can turn their men on or off. They are allowed to be more than prude, virgin-like, angelic, demure and coy at least in the bedroom. There is so much more to a Christian woman than the virgin Mary symbolism but one would never know because they are wrapped up so tightly in institutional induce fear and man-made restrictions.

I say go let your inner ‘whore’ out and enjoy it. If that means picking up a cute piece of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret or taking a fun class to learn how to pole dance-whether you are single or married. I am sure your current or future spouse will appreciate it too. Afterall, with marriage comes the freedom of intimacy and if you are single there is nothing wrong with being prepared and having fun with it.

7 thoughts on “A Lady In The Streets and A Whore In Bed

  1. My first wife exhibited that kind of dualism. In public, she was a sweet, quiet, reserved country girl, but that quiet demeanor hid that she had a serious tiger in her tank. When the door was closed and she took her clothes off, she was insatiable. How often we had sex, particularly when we were newly-weds, was limited only by available time and my ability to perform. A few weeks after we got married, she went to her doctor and asked her why I couldn’t keep up with her in bed. Her doctor had to explain basic male sexual physiology to her.

    Even though our sex-life slowed down somewhat through the years, each time we had sex was as wonderful as our first. We never had much of a sexual-repertoire, but we didn’t need much variety to keep things interesting. There was little or no sex during the last few weeks of each of her four pregnancies, mostly because she couldn’t get into a comfortable position for sex. She was also too tired and sore for a few weeks after each baby was born, but I could always look forward to when she would start feeling like having sex. When she felt like it, we started back up where we left off.

    I will never forget the last time we had sex, three days before she committed suicide. It was as if she was giving me her final gift of a good-time in bed, and she knew it, even though I had no idea it would be our last. Her tiger came out to play one last time…

    Connie was a woman unlike any I have ever met since. She was a lady in public, and a tiger in bed!

    Steve

    1. It’s interesting to read about your sex life with your wife because so many married couples are having difficulty in this area. It is as though they find sex to be a side line activity in their relationship versus an integral part of the relationship. Unfortunately, too many married people are having problems in this area and it is not due to mechanical problems.

      1. I believe that couples who ignore their need for regular sex do so at their peril. In my article “Priorities – Time”, I have placed sex as the #3 time priority, behind #1 – Worship, and #2 – Couple time. Couples who don’t worship God together don’t have a firm foundation for their marriage. Couples also often neglect spending time with each other after they get married. They couldn’t get enough of each other before they got married, but they often become little more that room-mates afterwards. They get too busy with too many other things to take time for each other, including having sex.

        Connie and I kept our sex-life alive and vibrant by SCHEDULING time for sex. After church, once we had kids, we put them to bed after lunch, and retreated to the bedroom for our own R&R. Before we cuddled to snooze a while, we had sex. Sex was the perfect relaxer for us to drift off into sweet sleep. We started the week with sex, and then we reconnected on Wednesday night with sex. Finally, we ended the week with sex on Friday night. Except for those times when she was not really able to have sex, we rarely went over three or four days without sex. This is not to brag, but Connie and I understood how important and necessary sex is to a healthy marriage.

        One thing that many Christian couples fail to realize is that, to God, sex is NOT optional, In Old Testament Israel, God commanded that all young, military-age men, who had just gotten married, be given a YEAR to get to know their wife, have sex, and have a baby. Imagine having a year-long honeymoon. If it is that important to God, why do couples ignore sex? Even the Apostle Paul commanded couples to have sex: “2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5) If sex is so important to God that His first command to Adam and Eve was “Be fruitful and multiply” (have sex) and He commands couples in the New Testament to have sex, sex must be pretty important.

  2. Hello! Thank you for commenting on my blog, “The Problem with NO Sex Before Marriage”…

    In reading this point of view about the lady, the Christian, and Whore I am confused. I think you may be able to tell that I am very comfortable with my sensuality and cherish intimacy.

    Intimacy and sex are not the same thing- though many people do classify them one and the same.

    I am not a Whore, and I do not think that my liberation in the bedroom is related to Whoredom.

    Actually making love is something that satisfies God too. With that said, there is a perverseness in the bedroom of Whores and those who prostitute themselves. In fact, I do not believe that they are free at all- they medicate themselves with drug addiction for example to escape reality.

    As a Christian woman with a Christian man, who is familiar with men, they want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. A freak is one open to do things that are satisfying in the relationship. They don’t want to misuse you- whores they want to misuse. Freak is like your actions, Whore is something they believe to characterize you. Whore they know and imagine has been with everyone, freak could mean that they think you’re doing something special just for them- or at least that you are a good girl with a bit of a surprise at home.

    I don’t think you’re being two people. As I mention in my blog, we should be able to be totally who we are in the relationship. Your freaky ways should not be something that makes you uncomfortable- it’s already a part of you. He’s not turning you into that- he just learns how to bring it out.

    The sexual relationship is not about what pleases the man- the woman should be pleased too.

    Intimacy and communication is key; when true love is present.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Res. The use of the word whore was not meant to be a literal translation of someone who sells themselves. For the purpose of this blog entry, it was using the urban phrase to discuss the repressed nature of Christianity and specifically Christian women regarding their ideas on sexuality and intimacy. Freaks or whores both connote that women will explore their sexual side more than a “lady” would.

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