Over the years, women’s identity of what it means to be a woman have changed. Depending on where/who you are, it could mean the ability to have children, being married, being independent, having breast (mastectomy) etc. My best explanation of being a woman or feminine is not always very traditional. I believe being a woman is mostly about personality, attitude, interest and a lot less on the physical than is normaly attributed by society (only relates to natural-born females).
Women dangerously define themselves by augmented breasts, bigger or rounder butts , Botox lips, 104 lbs and 5′ 10″and other physical alterations. There is an unrealistic expectation of what one should look like and be in order to claim the “I am all woman” mantra.
I can proudly say now and after the hysterectomy (countdown: 8 days away) that I will still be ALL 100% grade A woman. My personality will still be as it was and my outlook on my life will not change. At this moment, my unconventional interest would not pass the feminine test :-). I would rather go to a classic car show than shop, I hate pink because it represents way too girlie attitude, and my idea of romance does not have flowers, candle or chocolate anywhere in the picture. However, all that is my identity as female/feminine/woman.
So, then which aspect of my life will H-day affect? The most that may change slightly is having a conversation with a potential mate about children. Prior to a few months ago, I was very adamant about not wanting to give birth. However, I was willing to squeeze out one rugrat if marriage occurred before a certain age. Well, since singlehood is my lot in life for right now, that exception became a nonissue. Adoption is still the primary means of wanting to be a mother (so many children in this world who could use a good parent). So my criteria is that anyone sharing my life should already have children or is open to adoption.
Prior to scheduling H-day, not wanting to give birth did not affect my womanhood and still does not now or ever. In the case of a potential mate, my philosophy is this: Life is what it is and if someone cannot handle that reality, then I will CHOOSE not be with that person or be made to feel guilt/inadequacy. Afterall, there are lots of fertile women out there, go find one.
Traumatic or life changing things happen to women everyday and even now as you are reading this blog. I refuse to see this as traumatic. I refuse to become pitiful and a victim. The key to keeping one’s sanity is to recognize how wonderful I am as a woman in spite of…and the good things I am blessed with that can be offered to others and especially to my sense of self.
Merry Christmas to All