When the “Friend” in Friendship Goes Dim


Most Christians know the story of Peter’s betrayal of Jesus. He denied Christ 3 times and disassociated himself. He went as far as to lie that he did not know Jesus after spending 3 years with him. Well, the most incredulous part of all that was Jesus forgave him and they rode off together in the Christian sunset as best buds. However, for women, things do not usually end that well.

Men, in an unexplained way, are able to have a bond with each other which can go through hell and still come out intact smiling like Old Spice. Men seem to be able to forgive easier and move past sh*t. On the other hand,  women’s friendships can become so tenuous in a blink of an eye, break, and never to be repaired again. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult thing for women. Is it our pride or overactive estrogen that can turn something good into something very ugly very easily?

I recognize that fragile trait in myself and realize that a friendship is loss and I am not willing to work at it. There are specific reasons why I do not feel compelled to make an effort and if I am brutally honest with myself, it is probably just that I don’t feel the desire to repair the rift. The trust or faith in that person is gone. In comparison, my male friendships fare so much better and longer than the female-female relationship.

I find it weird that it takes me longer to trust women than men. I believe it is the emotional factor. Women have the uncanny ability to stick a knife deep into your soul intentionally or otherwise and that pain can linger for a long time. Men do not appear to be that calculating in their friendships.  I do believe that men have very deep emotional connection to their bros but it is simply different for us. So should women take a page from the bromance book?

Even if we did, I doubt things would work as well. Women are just different and we connect by feelings. Once those feelings have been hurt, then most of the hope and trust is loss on ever getting things back to the way they were before. Even though my male-female relationships can stand the test of time without any doubt or fear, there is something special about a true friendship between two women. Something only us women understand when we do find that one woman we trust implicitly.

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