During a sermon that was playing on 3ABN online, one of the pastor’s promptly inserted that single women should stop spending their time focusing on finding a husband. Like so many speakers, this pastor is married (surprise! surprise!).
He continued briefly to say that single women are making bad choices in men and that we should focus our efforts on the things of the church. Well this is an extremely irritatingly sore spot for me and most singles. In the same sermon, he did talk about his wife and how he needed to keep himself safe during a mission trip to go home to his wife.
Now this is my speculation and I have also heard from a seminary student that being married is strongly I mean very strongly encouraged of the budding pastors. Why is that? Why is it is so important for the clergy to be hitched but the lay people ahem! women need to “focus on the Lord?”
Do married people believe that singles are sitting around on their derrieres just waiting? Is that the prevailing image? How is it that most sermons are not focused on the men in the church? have you ever heard a pastor tell a single man to spend his free moments in service to the church and stop looking for a wife? Christian single women appear to have this unspoken burden to carry various loads: it’s our fault we are single, every married church pastor has some asinine advice for us, the church requires all our free time blah! blah! blah!
One wish I have of the church is that it would stop making single women’s lives a living hell. Married people, especially the ones who have no concept of what it means to be single in their adult lives, should really just shut up! put away their bias notions, and sit down with the singles in their church to understand exactly what that population needs and find ways to support us.