To Listen or Ignore?


If you read this blog, there is high probability that you are Christian and single and probably have had the latter status for sometime. So, with that being said, the other assumption is that you have had your share of advice from everyone including the random person on the streets. They may have told you how you can end your single status with these 3 easy steps (using a commercial voice).  I am also going to assume that all those advices are not the same- probably contradictory. What is a single Christian to do?

This blog is not about giving advice but my views and thoughts of the world. The reader can agree or disagree but it does not hurt to think about another’s point of view. This is the same thought process I use to address the barrage of single advice on how to be married or being fulfilled with singledom. During yet another conversation with a  single Christian friend, she expressed her confusion about what to do with all the do’s and don’t rules that are unsolicitously thrown at her. After a good laugh, actually more frustration on her part, about people’s (especially Christians) distateful intrusion into her personal life, my response was to relax!  and then find some very obviously tactless way of telling them to mind their own beeswax.

The reality is there are no hard and fast rules about dating and finding Mr/Ms Compatible. There are a number of people who have tried everything but standing on their heads in the middle of Time Square and that did not result in a long term committed relationship or at least a single bite.  There are others who did not do anything special but go to the grocery store and bump into their future spouse.  My belief is that you have to be yourself and enjoy the life God gave you. There are no guarantees that every single individual will be married much less happily married until death do they part. We cannot predict the future and worrying endlessly about it does not magically make it happen.

This is not to say that singles do not have a desire and a wish prayer for a God sanctioned long-term companionship. It is more about how one passes the time while praying and waiting. Not to make this post too meloncholy, however, I am very aware of passing time and my aging body after celebrating the big 3-0 four years ago. I am aware of the grey hairs, the creaky knees, the working out more to keep in shape, the increased trips to the doctors and realize that I am not getting back the days of being carefree and feeling ageless at 25. Heck I will not be getting back tomorrow. 

The saying that tomorrow is gone, the future is not promised so live for today is quite profound. Singles have been literally waiting for years to become a spouse and have nothing to show for it. They have stopped living for today in anticipation of tomorrow.  I suggest that the next time someone comes to you with the sure fire way of hooking a mate whether it be joining a singles club, make the first move, staying in the closet and pray,  or whatever creative ways are out there, just listen then think about who you are and what you believe in, and decide if that suggestion is right for you.

Whatever the choice that you make always remember that each day is a gift to be unwrapped. Lamentations 3: 22-23


2 thoughts on “To Listen or Ignore?

  1. It’s tough as a Christian woman who seeks to keep her standards high while existing here on earth…LOL…There are certain “hard and fast rules” which keeps the man/woman roles intact…No way around biology, because in the long run it will always win out…And I encourage women to find their passion on the way to love as well…Of course in the meantime, there are ways to increase the odds in our favor…To keep it brief, there are some excellent stories within the Bible which outlines characteristics that make a good spouse…And others which demonstrate the exact opposite – Which I may go into at another time…Thanx for sharing!

    A couple of notables:

    Ruth & Boaz
    Jacob & Rachel

    1. I especially love the Jacob & Rachel story. YOu know it’s love when a man choose to work 14 years to marry a woman and the woman who is 100% certain that he would keep his promise. Such commitment is rarely seen today which is unfortunate

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