I was excited to attend a very public event that usually hosts families and groups of all kind. I was very set to go when my activity partner cancelled and another potential companion ditched as well. I became unusually bummed out because I was facing the decision to stay home or going alone. Weirdly, it was a struggle to decide. Afterall, why should I miss out on an event just because I had to attend solo? I had to be very honest with myself on the reason I felt some intrepidation to go alone. I recognize that I did not want some random people to identify me as one of those pathetic single girls; I did not want anyone to feel sorry for me because I was flying solo.
Yes, I get that those are my thoughts and people could not careless because they do not know me. However, the point is that is how I feel. I can identify with those thoughts because on the occasion that I am out with friends in a social environment and I see a single person, dining alone or sitting somewhere alone, my first feelings are empathy and pity. A few years ago, I had made the brave decision to dine at chain restaurant for lunch by myself and it was the most uncomfortable feeling. Needless to say, I had never done it again. The truth is most activities are so much more fun with someone else involved; It’s just not the same when you are alone.
Sadly, I can see myself becoming one of those people who would mercilessly beg someone “please please go with me because I don’t want to do it alone.” This is slightly distressing because I hate those people and a couple of years ago I was sooo the opposite of that. I suspect this is not just me fussing about being a solo activity member because a fellow single blogger lamented about the same thing.
As I get older, the idea of doing things alone has become daunting. I recognize that I have restricted some of my activities because they entail attending with me, myself and I if my activity partners are otherwise occupied. I truly miss those days when I said screw it (after friends backed out on me) and went to different places such as the Grand Canyon by myself and had a great time.