New Year No Resolutions

New Years 2013For this new year’s eve, a dear friend and I went out to enjoy the festivities. Our last-minute venue of choice turned out to be with a group of people who were much much older than us and the band that was playing could use some good singers. Nevertheless, it was a night to remember, not because of the heavy drinking and partying (which there was none) but just the experience. Who can beat a good laugh.

As is customary, people make new years resolution. As is customary for me, I refuse to make any resolutions. Usually, my journal starts with Happy New Year (insert year) may this year be filled with Blessings or some such sentiments. It is not that I do not believe in resolutions but for some reason this year I decided to take things as it comes. I have found that any minor/major wish at the beginning of the year never quite come to fruition or it looks grossly distorted by Dec 31. I just might be cursed or something.

This year did not start with a hopeful bang but as I thank God for each day, I have decided to be more open and flexible (I think I might have said that last year too). 🙂 I guess when you get older life seems to repeat itself and not always the good things. Last year, I moved across country, dumped a career that was emotionally draining, was unemployed way longer than expected, turn down a somewhat idealish job for one that has turned out to be wayyy below expectations in every sense of the word BUT I am still thankful to be employed, alive, and had only one loss in the family.

Again, nothing turned out the way I expected it to be… Nada. So with that kind of track record, I have decided to let God do His best or worst. People keep writing, quoting and shouting that God is in charge and He knows what’s best etc etc etc. So instead of making any concrete plans for the near or far future, I have decided that I will let go and see what happens this year. By nature, I am a planner, organizer and like things to go in a certain order. I figure that all my planning has not paid off in the ways I expected so giving up the reigns may show some improvement.



I do have to be honest that I don’t fully trust that God will do any better to make this year rosier. I believe that he has the power to make all things bright and beautiful (taken from a song) but that is not always the case (Connecticut massacre right before Christmas). Yes! yes! I know the die-hard Christians will say I don’t have enough faith even as big as a mustard seed (bible reference) so what do I expect. Well that’s the thing, I have no expectation for the worst or the better. I am in the frame of mind that ‘que sera sera’ what ever he wants it to be will be-good, bad, pretty or ugly.

This is the year of one day at a time with minimal expectation. Who knows- by the end of the year (God’s will I am still alive and well) I will be back in church full time or further down the path of separation and therefore destruction.




4 thoughts on “New Year No Resolutions

  1. Hello! Thank you soooooooo much for your honesty. You didn’t mention anger (and I’m new to your blog so I don’t know if you have mentioned this already) but it sounds like maybe your perspective might be coming from there… If so… that is perfectly okay and it doesn’t make you any less Christian… I’ve been wanting something from God for quite sometime and I think that not having it is making me more angry and angry. This is something that I think Christians are afraid to discuss, but thank you for giving me the honesty to acknowledge and admit this myself.

    Good luck on your No Resolution New Year and I look forward to following up with you.

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