It is no surprise that when it comes to good looks women are expected to be the front-runners. Many men will make their advances to the women who are considered the prettiest in the crowd. Beauty is obviously a major factor for men whether they are looking for a long-term relationship or a use and let go quickie. There will never be an expression like “I bagged/married the ugly girl.” Besides a pretty face, there is yet another must-have item for women which is to be sexy.
The number two thing that seems to be a requirement for women today is the ability to transform themselves into a hot sexy lady. Everything these days are geared towards women getting that “body you have always wanted” in order to wear the tight short dress or the two ‘skimpy’ piece bathing suit for summer. In my own pursuit of keeping in shape, I could not help but notice that all the exercise programs are heavily marketed to women. What? Are men not pressured to get their bodies right and tight as well?
I was recently on vacation and spent quite a bit of time by the beach. I could not help but notice a few things. There were very few ‘out of shape’ women lounging around. 99.9% of the women were in tiny bikinis even the ones who should not be wearing that outfit in public. I was the most overdressed female on that beach… okay maybe 1 of 3. When I say over-dressed, I mean a tankini with really short boyshorts. There were more men on that beach who needed to wear something more than a speedo but they didn’t seem to mind. When the sun went down, there was yet another trend. The women were sexied up to the max – I mean tight and short clothing, hair and make up, sky-high heals walking beside men who looked as dressed up as a guy in jeans and sandals. Again, I felt very overdressed and undersexy.
I was doing my usual blog rounds when one of the writers had a topic on women getting into shape. I am all for women losing weight or sculpting etc. However, I was slightly perturbed about the blog writer’s emphasis on the importance for the single women to look good in order to grab the attention of a potential husband but no mention of choosing a man who focused on a healthy weight and lifestyle for himself. The response I received to my pet peeve was that women will overlook a man who is out of shape if he can be a good provider. So the message was, women should always strive to look sexy and therefore pretty but should not require that of their partners. Well, out goes physical sexual attraction 101. Side note: Yes women are allowed to find men sexy too – deal with it!
We have all seen the beer belly dude who looks 6-9 months pregnant with a hottie beside him – she could be young or older. 45+ year old women of yesteryear has nothing on these women of today. Today’s women are competing with the 20 odd year olds to remain pretty and young and even more so sexy as hell. If the 20-year-old is wearing a mini, then the older woman will be wearing a micro micro mini. So, is that it-because we are no longer youthful ie. 20’s, then we have to find a way to still show the over 30’s males that we are viable by becoming Madonna-esq?
Unfortunately, this is not immune in the church either. God’s people are affected by the trends in the world. Being sexy in church – short, tight, full glamour with sky high heels are incorporated in the acceptable dress code for worship. While the Bible calls for God’s people to be separate from the world, this is not always possible. A frumpy and well covered Christian woman will get the least amount of attention when she is vying for a mate from the ridiculously small populace of men in the church.
I have seen the sexy woman-physically unattractive/ordinary looking man couple time and time again and it does strike a nerve with me. Why? because I find it ludicrous that the same rules of looking good is only pushed on women and men get a ‘pass.’ I have accepted that I will always be the overdressed and least sexy of women which inadvertently puts me in the ugly sister category. No, I don’t dress like a matron from the dark ages but I do not believe in going out in public with half my body out on display. It can get a bit drafty! I do work out and yes I can fit into a bikini or a tight short dress but those styles are not for me.
I am also one of the few who require the same amount of sexiness from men as they do from me. As shallow as that may sound, I too need to be able to look at a guy and find him ‘pleasing to the eye.’ I do not care what kind of provider or nice guy he may be; he needs to also be compatible with the fitness and healthy lifestyle goals that are a part of my daily routine. While I am relying on an antiquated version of sexy – smarts, sense of humour, nice personality, can hold a conversation about a large variety of subjects, dresses ‘conservatively,’ and quite independent, I am aware that it does not match the modern version of sexy-half naked and leave little or nothing to the imagination.
I understand that women want to get a man and others want to hold on to the ones they have but I unfortunately can not join in the half-naked game. My sexiness is not about how much I can let hang out or great hair or superb make up but the old fashion type of sexiness-personality. Who knows? Once a man gets pass that personality, there may be a whole lot more to a woman in private than what she is willing to showcase in public.