Tidbits I have learned from experiences and from others:
Internet Dating: The Internet is just a medium for two people to be introduced to each other. It should not be a sticking point in which two people dwell to create fantasies about each other or a place to avoid dealing with each other in real life. If an interested party lingers in the internet/non face to face world too long, then that should be a good sign to move on to someone who wants an interaction in the real world. If the intent is to have a ‘normal’ relationship, then why do you need to hide? If someone does need to hide, then I suggest therapy because s/he has a lot of shit to work out in order to have a decent relationship with anyone.
Text and Social Media: It is becoming common place for people to hide behind non face to face media. Are people so insecure and lacking confidence that they feel more comfortable with disassociated contact? It has become so easy to ‘fool’ people by pretending to be someone else and that has made the current generation look like idiots. There is even a TV show and term called Catfish to illustrate such stupidity. As a single, if most of your ‘relationship’ involves non face to face contact, then you really deserve what you get when you find out that you are being blatantly deceived.
There is no short cut to getting to know someone. I have seen more miserable ‘couples’ than unhappy singles.
Dump and Run: If s/he doesn’t call you, then s/he is not that into you. If you dread calling him/her, then you are not that into the person. If you have to keep making excuses for someone, then s/he is no good for you. There is no shame in admitting that a relationship is not working because the people closest to you already know. Common sense is there for a reason.
A Little Old Fashioned can be Good: Some modern men are falling short in their manly duties to show confidence with women and to take the initial lead. Call me old-fashioned but I extend respect for a man who takes the initiative to ask a woman out on a first date or get together instead of waiting for her to make the first move. An independent and confident woman does not appreciate a cowardly and weak man unless she wants to use and dominate him.
Creating intimacy before getting to know someone usually leads to disaster. If there is no foundation to feed the magic, then you will be left with two strangers who were once hot for each other.
Women were created with one of the best weapons of all: the vagina. Just ask a sexually content husband. It is a great source of power but if misused or allow others to misuse, it can lead to emotional, spiritual, and psychological pain.
To Thine Own Self Be True: In my years of working with people, I have found one very significant thing. People are afraid to look in the mirror and get to know themselves. It seems silly that people can hide the truth from themselves but it happens – it’s called suppression and denial. When you understand who you are – weakness, strengths, shame, joy, desires, wants, etc; then it’s less likely to become a doormat for others (family, partners, so-called friends), suffer from anxiety or depressive feelings, or make repeated disastrous life decisions.
Give Thanks: Despite all the craziness and disappointments, it helps to stop for a quiet moment and give thanks for the little things in your life.