“Train up a child in the way
he she should go: and when she is old, she will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6. This is one of the classic KJV passages that grandparents tell parents which is passed to us and down to our children.
There is something to be said when a child is raised a certain way and carry those beliefs throughout life even when she sometimes depart from those ways. This is one of those passages that advocate for the importance of proper influences in a child’s mind. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and Christian religious institutions have always been a part of my life from baby-hood. Despite the fact that I have taken a never ending sabbatical from formal religion and certain aspects of the bible, I have not forgotten most of my fundamental religious teachings.
These fundamental teachings come into play when I least expect it. Let me give you some background. Due to circumstances, I took a job that was very much below my qualifications and I have been looking for another better open door in which to transition. Unfortunately, this quest has been more difficult than expected. The positive thing is that I do have support in this transition plan. The negative thing is I am constantly being told by a number of people to lie, omit, and cheat in order to give myself a fighting chance.
The problem with all this is the lying, omitting and cheating part. There is something so inherently wrong with engaging in such behaviors no matter how desperate I think I am for a change in circumstances. Each time someone suggests using deception, I inwardly and outwardly cringe. I also am vocal about having issues with these methods.
While I am the last person to feel offended on a Christian level, the fact is I still do. I was raised (train) to not do certain things and even though I may have a cozy spot in hell because I have severed quite a bit of ties from Christianity, I still can not “depart” from certain Christian teachings. These believes that my parents and religious institutions instilled in me seem to have become a permanent part of me. I suppose this is similar to what it means when Jesus said the “Father and I are one.”
My Christian upbringing, despite my current heresy, can not all be forgotten when it has been so fully absorbed and believed. It’s almost as a part of me as my DNA. I still have some semblance of morals left… just kidding… I have lots of morals left but just missing a few which would make me a good and faithful Christian. I think I surprise myself sometimes when my God-centered values creep up and make a firm stand. I actually really like it when that happens. It gives me a shred of hope that not all the ties with God have been severed. It also gives me hope that despite the peer pressure and the strong desire for something I can still say no.
I am not getting too excited that this momentary connection means that I think God will be making up a cot for me in heaven; however, it does mean that this is my odd and nutty proof that God still exists and in our lives. The peer pressure is not over as yet and neither is my resolve to do the upstanding thing. I have come to accept that what I want and what is are never the same things. So, if this door closes in my face, it will not severe the tenuous connection I still have with my God.