Yep, I admit it. I am going to be a life long
old maid bachelorette and I am not shedding a tear. As I grey in places that shouldn’t have grey hairs , as each year I move closer to the 40’s, as my body struggles to drop the fat it’s holding to for dear life, and as body parts start to creak and pop when I bend, I realize that I am becoming more and more settled within my lifestyle.
Recently, I was up to my ear in small children, married couples and first time pregnant women. I may have been the only one who noticed that I didn’t belong to either of those groups. I chuckled to myself as people introduced their children and significant other and I wanted to jokingly say “Hi, I am …. and it’s just me.” I refrain from doing it because it might have made the others uncomfortable with my plus 0 status. To make matters more comfortable, the wives were not clutching their husbands in fear that I might lure them away as a single she-devil.
I happily joined into the family centered discussions because despite my
old maid bachelorette status I had stuff to say about pregnancy, young children, and marriage topics. I did not feel out-of-place or bothered with my plus 0 . The grass did not look greener on the other side. The grass just simply looked different. I was secure in my status knowing that I was the odd person out in that group dynamics but being aware of it did not change the fact that I felt secure within myself and what I had to offer to the group. I was relaxed and it resulted in a great time. Would I do it again? Absolutely.
I recognized that many singles in the same situation would have left early, felt very out-of-place and exhibited that behavior, felt bad for themselves, and perhaps swear off groups with 2 or more couples/families involved. Frankly, I don’t have the mental capacity or the energy to get myself in such a depressive tizzy. The self-pitying can only go so far before it becomes a useless tool in the single person survival kit. I was invited to that gathering and I was there to celebrate an occasion for the host; therefore, my self-centeredness was not welcome when there is fun to be had.
So many singles are afraid of such gatherings because they fear they will feel bad. They will be reminded of what they are lacking. However, my view is that there is so much more to life than one’s single status in such situations. I had the opportunity to be around really ‘good people’ and it was a great way to spend a few hours. There is nothing wrong in feeling secure in your singleness because it shows security in oneself.