39-Year-Old Crisis

As I am writing this, it now seems like a funny experience rather than a crisis. Not long ago in the distant past, I somewhat celebrated my 39th birthday. It was low key like all my birthdays and I do what I typically would do… take the day off from work and scheduled a day worth of activities while getting calls, texts and Facebook birthday well-wishes. However, this morning I woke up (thank God) and had a minor 39 year old crisis. OMG I am 39!!!!! I am getting old(er).

So, I got out of bed, looked in the mirror and thought is this what people of a certain age go through? I don’t look 39-I work out and is trying to stave off any excessive weight gain and I don’t have any wrinkles (thanks parents and decent living). While my mind is not taking the senior citizen route, the age numbers are climbing. I literally feel like a 39-year-old in a much younger body (my mirror could be lying or maybe I have early onset cataracts). Should I start dressing differently – more mature? How about my hair? Should I quit wearing my hair in two braids because I am too lazy to find a good hairstyle? LOL…I can’t help laughing at myself as I write this. As a friend of mine would say, this is a first world problem.

What’s my deal about being 39? Well, it’s about life expectations for career then a distant second for relationships. I know…traditionally as a woman my crisis should be all about my terminally single status. Oh well, I guess I am a little different. I woke up this morning thinking that my career life does not match that of my younger self’s dreams or my current age. I really believe that I should be further along in my career pursuit. I asked myself what exactly have I accomplished in my life? The distorted self-defeating mind would say “not much” but the reality is I have done quite a bit with my life. I actually have some tales to tell and wisdom to pass on.

In terms of my marital status – I can explain why that issue takes second place as a crisis (okay a very mild crisis). As a child, my thoughts were never focused on the marital side of life. It has only been since journeying in my 30’s that marriage and family has even been a blip on my radar. So, my current spinster (can’t get a man pathetic single woman) or bachelorette ( hot sexy choose to be single woman) status only made minor contributions to my crisis because it was never a life long dream/desire. I may have to re-evaluate if I start collecting cats as pets.

Could I spruce up my dating life a bit? Sure! I do acknowledge that as I age gracefully I may encounter a slight snag in the long-term relationship department. Apparently, men of my age are looking for women who are a lot little  younger. So, I should expect to get offers (assuming I will ever fully be ready to transition to a MRS degree) from men who range from age 60 and up who are looking for a ‘younger woman.’ Woo hoo!!!!…. I still have a shot at being called a “young woman.”

As a aged woman in crisis, should I start wearing tube tops (hopefully you are old enough to know what that is) and micro mini skirts? Or should I save that for when I am 49? What exactly should the life of a 39 y/o woman look like? Married with kids? Successful career? Traveling the world?  Being a good Christian at church 5 (okay maybe 2 or 3) days out of the week? Am I below the 39 y/o curve? I thought about it and I really don’t have a good answer.

A 39 y/o woman’s life could range from still living with her parents to being a Goodwill UN Ambassador. While society does place ridiculous boundaries on women’s lives, we put the most pressure on ourselves by believing the b.s. So, God blessed me to wake up this morning but I started the day in the first age related panic of my life. While it only lasted for a brief moment, I could not help but think what is my next step? I cannot say that I am totally thrilled with my current career situation and it is certainly not where I envisioned myself at 39. However, I refuse to fall into hysteria (take that Freud!) and make rash decisions but it has motivated me to start pushing a little harder to reach further for my career or at least job satisfaction and breathe new energy into getting out and enjoying the blessings of being alive for 39 years (thanks God).


4 thoughts on “39-Year-Old Crisis

  1. What perfect timing as if it was meant to be. I’ve been having these crisis a lot lately too as I approach the big three-0. I’m so tired of seeking approval from others and being made to feel inadequate for just being me. It’s so refreshing to read about truthful information. I do hope one day I can easily brush off others’ projections onto me/ societal pressure as easily as you do now. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m so glad to find more kindred spirits on the web and thank you for sharing.

    1. Thanks Amaryllis,
      It has taken me quite a bit to learn about myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I too, had moments when I wondered what others think if I said or did things. But over time and turning my focus from others to listening to myself, I have learn to take a lot of things with “a grain of salt” and then move on with my life. The best thing about “being you” is that the people who come into your life will appreciate you just the way you are without being judgmental or critical.
      You should make your big 3-0 a day just about you. What better way to celebrate God’s gift of life for another year.

  2. As someone who has two decades on you, I had to chuckle at your “39 year-old-crisis”, because I only vaguely remember that long ago. In 1995. I had a wife and four kids and was working 55-60 hours a week, six days a week to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. I had already passed my “career-peak” and “upward-mobility” was nonexistent. I am staring into the muzzle of number six-O, and it will probably come and go just like all 59 birthdays before it. That doesn’t mean that I am a “goner” but it does mean that any future “mountains” will be molehills by comparison.



    1. Steve,
      It is so funny the things we see as important at different points in our lives. When I sat to write this blog entry I had to laugh at myself for being a little silly. God has blessed you with 59 years, I hope he gives you many more.

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