In case you did not know and the blog page did not tip you off, I am single actually terminally single. In my opinion that status is neither good nor bad but just is what it is. I feel a certain amount of comfort with that status and I see the green side of the grass as well as the brown side of the grass that comes with being single. So, why is it that couples/people in relationships, whether new or old, seem to have such a difficulty accepting and being comfortable with other’s single status particularly with single women? What is so threatening or frightening about being single? Let me compile a few things I have heard and noticed about couples’ behaviors towards singles.
People in relationships think it is their God given right to “set you up” and get you coupled
People in relationships think that because you are single, then ANY other single person will make the best match for you
People in relationships think your life will be so much happier with someone/anyone
People in relationships suddenly know what’s best for your life
People in relationships “can’t understand why you are single because you are such a nice person”
People in relationships do not think singles will fit in with their family lifestyle and are excluded from social events
People in relationships assume singles are avid partiers and have wild random sex ie. promiscuous
People in relationships think that singles cannot possibly understand when they are having difficulties in their relationships
People in relationships think singles will feel bad/sad/sorry for themselves if they talk about their relationships in your presence; so they avoid sharing anything about their relationships
A person who is in a new/early relationship suddenly think singles will be jealous so they avoid discussing their relationships
People in relationships believe that their relationships are so unique that every single person wants what they have/admire their relationship
People in relationships believe that every conversation with you should center around solving your singleness
People in relationships assume that singles are not working hard enough to end their singleness
People in relationships assume that you cannot be genuinely happy for them in their relationships
People in relationships assume singles cannot be truly contented and are faking it until they find their own relationships
…and so on
The funny thing is if you are a Christian then you know that Jesus and most of his disciples were single. Actually the God-head is single. The reality is there are a lot of singles who are more comfortable as singles than what society wants everyone to believe. Happiness is not about being single or married because misery lives in both camps. What I find very interesting is these behaviors are not just confined to couples who have been together since puberty but new couples pick up those very nasty judgmental and exclusionary habits too. In my personal experience, I try not to react negatively. However, what some of these couples do not realize is that while I am happy for them I do not want their relationships. NEWSFLASH Your life is NOT that special above my own. The ludicrous concept that my marital status is the only thing that puts me in a one-down position is more of a personal problem for others.
If I am going to be single until the day I die, then so be it. If I am to get married in the future, then so be it. These are all just one aspect of my life. God blessed me with one life to live and I will do the best that I can whether single or married. So, if you happen to be reading this, in a relationship and recognize that you are guilty of being a couple snob, please quit with your BS.