I’m on the edge’ that nebulous edge that is unique for different people. It can be scary, exhilarating, experimental, depressing, or even dark. It is that edge most people tell themselves they will never cross. It is the ‘it will never happen to me’ place. Well, that is until you find yourself in a state of mind in which you have not only crossed the line but have gone deep beyond it and is at risk of losing one’s self.
It is the edge in which life is out of control and suicide seems like a good option. It is the edge when a good girl from a good upbringing stays with an abusive husband. It is when a faithful church-going Christian loses his strong faith. It is when a marriage is shaky and the grass looks greener some place else. It is when a smart man makes bad decisions and compromises his integrity. It is when someone has loss his/her perspective; loss his/her way.
People cross that edge when they have loss sight of or is missing something important in their lives. A man who is desperate for love, a family in financial difficulties, or a Christian whose desperate prayers are not answered. You have created dreams and expectations for your lives, you have an image as to what you need and what will make you happy. However, for many people, their dreams and their reality are never the same. The stark truth can be overwhelming which pushes them into an unfamiliar place that was never imagined or intended. The place of bad compromise, lying, cheating, stealing, deception, anger and disappointed with God, the place of rebellion, defiance, doubt, shame and a slow erosion of one’s identity, self-esteem, strength, values, confidence, integrity and one’s self.
A desperate man will grasp at anything. So, the problem with riding and crossing the edge is that people are frantically searching for anything to put that dream back together, to find meaning and purpose in their lives. They are desperate for that happy ending and the ideal life that was never promised.
How do you move back from the edge? Slowly, prayerfully and carefully. People’s lives and dreams did not just fall apart in a day. It took time and accumulation of little things to get you to that edge so, it will take time, STRENGTH, dedication, and small steps to get you back on track. It is easier to fall into a hole than to climb out of it so expect moments of fear, weakness, setbacks, and self-doubt. It is all a part of the learning process.
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