Blessings Smoke Signal

While rummaging on Facebook, I came across an inspirational post. The gist of it was what may seem like a disappointing tragedy could turn out to be God’s smoke signal that attracts his blessings. I honestly have to say that I tend to ignore most of those religious inspirational babblings. Maybe I am not at that place in which they do anything for me or I just do not subscribe to random sappiness. However, on those rare occasions when I am looking for some clarity, a sappy religious inspirational post hits the spot. Tonight was such a moment.

Being stressed to the point you are drained of your usual resiliency, can lead to a path down a long dark road.  It can lead to a point of losing one’s self in which you do not recognize yourself, your own thoughts or actions. The max stress point pushes you out of your comfort zone but not in a good direction. It pushes to the point in which you are trying to find relief or resolution in the most sinister or inappropriate of behaviors, places and people. There is a consistent loss of direction, identity and clear end goal. In other words, it can drive you to a slow destruction of mind, body, soul, morals etc.

There is the Proverb that says idle hands are the devil’s workshop but so is feeling desperate – desperate for the blessing you have been praying for or the miracle you want to happen yesterday or the pain you want to be replaced by joy, or the peace you are hoping would eliminate your turmoil etc.

‘Wait on the Lord.’ I really do not believe that most believers are impatient. I believe they are long-suffering. In the grand scheme of our lives, most of us may live for no greater than 70 years so waiting for a blessing that may take 10+ years of our adult lives is definitely a long time. While our lives on the earth is supposed to be temporary, it is still our lives and the only one we have to live in the here and now. Therefore, waiting for a blessing that we are not sure will come can drive anyone batty.

It becomes very difficult to have hope in the midst of your life turning upside down. It is very difficult to not just throw your hands in the air and say I am done. It is very difficult to not venture to the dark side because it is so much easier to be bad than good. It is very difficult to continue to believe when the negative unexpected happens and you have no control. There is that helpless feeling that starts to creep into your mind occasionally then over time, without a blessing, it permeates every aspect of your being. It spreads very quickly like an aggressive cancer. It ruins you in ways you could never have imagined. The journey down the dark road has begun.

I really do not know what to expect from God; however, at every religious corner, the Christian will tell you to ‘wait’ because He will answer your prayers or send a blessing in disguise when you least expect it. Actually, almost everyone has a cheery positive religious answer to any distress in your life. I resist this always sunny Christian disposition because reality has never fully reflected that sentiment. Life is filled with good and bad things. If the blessing we are asking for never comes, it forces us to accept that shitty things do happen but we can compensate in other ‘blessed’ areas of our lives. ‘Sure your legs and arms were blown off while you were serving your country but look on the bright side  you are alive and have a roof over your head and food to eat.’

We take our blessings where we can get it even if it is not in the area for which we were praying. Christian are told to ask God for anything but not expect everything because sometimes we are asking for too much and we need to learn to be satisfied with what we have because it may seem like greed or being ungrateful which is the devil; however, if you are long-suffering then it shows religious dedication and a strong belief in God but then God might be telling you no but you are not listening; but then God might give you what he thinks you need which does not manifest in the way you expect so you should continue to pray without ceasing… phew!!! did you catch all that?

The longer you wait for the blessing the easier it is to become blinded.  The longer you wait for your blessing the more you have to fight to believe and have hope. The more issues that need resolution the more you struggle to stay afloat with all that emotional and psychological weight.  Despite the struggle, every now and then something comes along and jolts you back to your senses with some clarity. It is a minor reprieve from the burden that allows you a moment to breathe in order to refocus, refresh and regroup.

Adult Virginity


The idea of adult and virginity in the same sentence is an oxymoron to both secular and christians alike. Most Christians do not expect an older man or woman to be a virgin despite not being married. However, this is not true and interestingly there is a stigma, a very bad one associated with this phenonenon.

The assumption is there are alot more adult virgins than anticipated. Adult virginity is not just about religious beliefs but for the adult virgin in the church this may be the more logical reason. However, unlike their younger counterpart, it is not a proud state of being anymore. It is arbitary at what specific age it is considered the point when being sexless stops being a virtue and becomes a curse. I doubt you will see someone over 21 publicity supporting purity rings and pledges.

I was watching an episode of a tv show and one of the characters is a beautiful career woman who happens to be a virgin waiting for marriage which never came in the appropriate time. The character would disclose her ‘status’ on her dates and the men would flee and never to return. That episode ended with her having sex. The moral of the story is this may be the same issue for adult virgins even in the church.

If this situation is true in real life, then the question is why would a man run away from a woman in which he would be the first to “pop her cherry?” I can not image that this is a pleasant conversation to have expecially for men. Even though a man is in the church, there is still an expectation that he has conquered a few ladies and knows his way in the bedroom and with a woman’s body. So who does an adult Christian turn to when this is their issue? I can imagine that being an older virgin would be as scary to discuss as sex is in the church.

The times have changed drastically when being terminally sexless is a shame and having multiple experiences or partners the proud moment to share with the world. The ‘friends with benefit’ is the more popular phenomenon. I wonder too how I would react if a man over 30 disclosed that he is a virgin? Would I be freaked out or find it a very pleasant challenge to put my kama sutra book to good use? 🙂

Does an adult virgin have any pride about his/her status anymore or s/he is just waiting for the day to get rid of it? Jesus was a virgin until his death at age 33 so there is nothing for an adult Christian virgin to feel shame about. However, in this day an age, shame is the most likely feeling adult virgins experience.